Waffles

A waffle is a pancake with tire treads.

What is love?

Love is.

- + - = +

Two negatives make a positive, so if two bad things happen to me then shouldn't a good thing happen also?

Decisions

Bad decisions make great stories.

Zzzzz

I totally regret not wanting to take naps when I was little.

BS

Lovers always carve their insials into trees.
We're just brother and sister.
So if we carved that into a tree it would say:
BS FOREVER

Taylor Swift

If Taylor Swift writes all her songs about the same guy, then she is an idiot.
If her songs are all about different guys, then she is a whore.

Fire Truck

I know it's really wrong when little kids cuss, but it's so funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pj2Nutu5v8

Fat Kids

I wish I was fat.
It's harder to kidnap fat kids.
No one wants to rape fat kids.
Therefor, being fat is an advantage.

Bacon

If bacon makes everything better, then there should be bacon in sex. Then, sex would be the best thing ever.

Imaginary

I still have imaginary friends.
Emery is my best friend.
Joel is my boyfriend.
I have an imaginary boyfriend.
That's as low as it gets.

Forgiven

I never told you that I forgave you a long time ago.

Better Half

It's been weeks since I broke up with him.
I'm just now realizing that I was the better half of the couple.
I just faded when I was with him.

Again

The things I always say that I will do do again are things that I will definitely do again.

Grass

The grass only looks greener on the other side. But deep down, it's really not.

Change

I’m scared the anti-depressants will change who I am, and no one will like me anymore.

Heaven

If heaven is so wonderful then there must be sex there.

If I Died Today

If I died today, would there be anything you wish you said to me?
Would you go to my funeral?
Would you cry?
Would you blame yourself?
Or would you just go die?

Therapy

You and writing are my therapies.
They're both the reason why I'm still breathing.

Best Times

You shouldn't give up.
Fight for yourself and who you are.
You've got to go through the worst times in life to get the best.